Annoying Corporate Jargon

June 23, 2008 by Katie Skow
Filed under Biz

Photo Credit: Laurie Sandell

Someone forwarded me this BBC article and I just have to share. This is everything we can’t stand about offices and corporations all rolled into one article. If you ever had a coworker tell you, “back to the trenches” you know what I mean. Some of this annoying corporate jargon is sure to make it into a future remake of Office Space. Have fun with it, make a list of obnoxious corporate jargon banned in your small business, and send it to me. I’ll post it! Or, just be happy you work for yourself.

50 office-speak phrases you love to hate

I love to hate all of them, but here are some of my favorites:

“Until recently I had to suffer working for a manager who used phrases such as the idiotic I’ve got you in my radar in her speech, letters and e-mails. Once, when I mentioned problems with the phone system, she screamed ‘NO! You don’t have problems, you have challenges’. At which point I almost lost the will to live.”
Stephen Gradwick, Liverpool

“You can add challenge to the list. Problems are no longer considered problems, they have morphed into challenges.”
Irene MacIntyre, Courtenay, B

“Business talk 2.0 is maddening, meaningless, patronising and I despise it.”
Doug, London

“Capture your colleagues – make sure everyone attends that risk management workshop (compulsory common sense training for idiots).”
Anglowelsh, UK

“We too used to have daily paradigm shifts, now we have stakeholders who must come to the party or be left out, or whatever.”
Barry Hicks, Cape Town, RSA

“When I worked for Verizon, I found the phrase going forward to be more sinister than annoying. When used by my boss – sorry, “team leader” – it was understood to mean that the topic of conversation was at an end and not be discussed again.”
Nima Nassefat, Vancouver, Canada

While I’m on the subject of annoying corporate stuff, here’s a great scene from office space: