Don’t Take Business So Personally

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Quite frankly, it’s hard not to take business personally. When someone compliments your business, your heart swells with pride just as your heart sinks when someone has something negative to say. It’s human nature, and perhaps as women, we tend to internalize these feelings a bit more.

Here are a few ways in which you can stop taking business so personally:

“Cut to the chase” mannerisms:
For some businesses, relationship building is the key to success. In other companies, fast turnover is what brings in the cash.

I run into a lot of new small business owners who don’t quite grasp this concept.

Looking back at the earlier days of my solopreneur career, I was intent on lunches, cocktails, and coffee all in the name of establishing business relationships. The reality is that I could have cut out at least half of those outings and been just fine. But, live and learn.

Now I think before making the effort. I assess:

1.    What’s in it for my business? Is this person a potential client or well-connected? What am I looking to gain from the meeting? Can I do this over the phone or would it be beneficial to meet in person?

2.    What is in it for them? How can I help this other person? Do I have potential connections for them and if so, can I do it over the phone or by email?

Lesson: Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t feel that it’s necessary to meet face-to-face for the moment. This is business and people need to consider their bottom line. Time is money and money is time.

Rates:
Too many people get unnecessarily worked up over pricing issues. It’s unfortunate when friends and family expect (or assume) a discount when they should be the ones happiest to fully support your business.

As a business owner, you are the one who determines your value based on your skill set, time, effort, and overhead costs. It’s important that you stick with those rates if you want to stay in business. I’ve seen too many entrepreneurs go out of business from spending their own time and money on friends and family.

If the person you are doing business with doesn’t want to give you a discount just because they know you from such-and-such, don’t push the issue.

If you’re doing business with a close relation or someone you know socially, here are a few tips:

1.    Assume you are going to pay the full price or fee. Want to pay them for every penny they are worth.

2.    If they offer a discount, tell them you’re happy to support their business and work by paying like any other client.

3.    If they still insist on the discount, graciously accept.

Lesson: Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to give you a discount. Business is business and they need to do business to stay in business. Get it? Got it? Good.

Criticism:
No matter who you are or what you do, one thing is certain: criticism is inevitable. There will always be someone who doesn’t like your work or the way you do business. That’s life and there is nothing you can do to change their mind.  As hard as it is to not take the criticism personally, you have to stay strong. If you let every person like this get you down, you’ll spend your whole life in fear and feeling bad.

What you can do, however, is look at the criticism objectively:

1.    Is the criticism from a purely artistic standpoint? If so, there’s not a lot you can do about it. Some of us like Monet whereas others prefer Van Gogh. It’s that simple. Instead, find them a competitor who might be more their taste or style. You have nothing to lose by losing them as a client.

2.    Does this person have a valid point? We all make mistakes in business and if the person is upset because of the way you handled a situation, you need to take the steps necessary to fix it.

Lesson: Criticism can sometimes result in great learning experiences. Either way, don’t take it personally, it’s business and we are all human.

Want to read more about handling criticism in the business world? I recommend this article for another point of view:

• Nataly Kogan: Business is Personal and Anyone Who Tells You Otherwise is Lying